Erin Go Bragh meet Bowl O’Turds

Last blog about a topic other than an 80s theme party for a while, I promise!  I couldn’t pass on the opportunity though to write about something related to St. Patrick’s Day.  I mean, it IS on a Saturday this year.  Perfect excuse to have a shindig, don’t you think?

While some people fully embrace the idea of St. Patrick’s Day I have never been one to get too excited about March 17th.  I blame the Third Reich for this.  You’ll see why in a minute.

My heritage does include some Irish as well as some American Indian and a lot of Poor White Trash, but mostly, I’m German.  The fact that I don’t do the lineage celebration thing has to do with going to Germany with my family for 2 weeks when I was 15.  The first part of the trip was fantastic.  The quaint villages were romantic and the grand castles were majestic.  The hills were alive with the sound of music (we crossed over into Austria for a day) and the locals were amazingly friendly; I’m sure it was because of the time of year I visited – it was early October.  In Germany.  There was a lot of beer drinking going on.

Then, my father got the bright idea that the trip had to be *educational* too.  Feel free to join me in eye-rolling and heavy sighing.

3 days left in the trip and my dumb American ass gets to go to Dachau Concentration Camp.  Oh joy!  I won’t bore you with the details, but that shit will wipe out your vacation high and knock you sober in seconds flat.  This was supposed to be vacation!  Even at 15 I knew vacation is the greatest invention in the history of the planet, maybe even the whole universe (sorry Stephen Hawking), and I had to spend a day of it at a fucking concentration camp?!?!  Maybe this explains why I am the way I am.

So there you have it.  Those Nazi dicks stole my ability to have pride in the family Coat of Arms.  Thanks a lot Hitler.

No more!  This year I have decided enough is enough!!  After all, I love a party and everyone is Irish this coming Saturday, right?  I plan to celebrate the 1/16th Irish heritage coursing through my veins this weekend, despite the Nazis.  I will probably meet up with friends at a bar to enjoy the festivities, but in case you are throwing a party at home, here are some ideas for your celebration…

Irish Beer is a must, of course, but don’t forget about other Irish liquors.  Total Wine has catalogued all of their offerings into this lovely little St. Patty’s Day selection.  Useful, organized, efficient.  Oh how I love Total Wine!

I’ve never done the corned beef and cabbage thing.  Mainly because I’m not a fan of getting the gas.  Or of my husband getting it either.  What I can share with you on the food front though is Irish potatoes.  I’ve had this recipe for ages and think I actually got it from my grandmother.  If it happens to be the same recipe you posted on the internet, I swear I did not steal it!  Relax, ok – I’m pretty sure it’s fairly common.

Irish Potatoes

1/4 cup Butter

4 ounces Cream Cheese

1 teaspoon Vanilla

1 pound Confectioner’s Sugar

7 ounces Shredded, Sweetened Coconut

2 tablespoons Cinnamon, plus extra for covering “potatoes”

Using a mixer, cream together butter and cream cheese in a large bowl.  Mix in vanilla and sugar.

No calories, I swear.

*TIP – Do not put all of the sugar in the bowl at once!  It will create an enormous dust cloud and then clean up will suck.  If you don’t clean it up fast enough, your neighbor might show up and think you are a coke head.  Then you will be shunned from neighborhood parties.  Just pour a little sugar into the bowl at a time to save yourself a HUGE headache.  And possibly visits from the DEA.

Stir in coconut and 2 tablespoons cinnamon (keeps the mixture from being too sticky on your hands when shaping the “potatoes”).  Form about 2 tablespoons mixture into potato shapes.  Roll in extra cinnamon.  Place on a cookie sheet covered with wax paper and chill for 12 hours in refrigerator.

Ummm, this was not the way they were suppposed to look.

Now that I’m examining them closely in the picture I realize they look like turds.  Nice.  I didn’t mean for them to look like this.  I guess sometimes shit just happens.

Not a rainbow of marshmallow surprises.