Plastic Titillation

Maybe I’m weird, but I really like a nice glass.

I appreciate feeling the weight of a tall Collins glass in my hands, I enjoy hearing ice cubes clink around in a smooth water goblet, and I love running my fingers up & down the delicate stem of a red wine glass (I was going to say ‘fingering’, but thought that might be a bit much).  And even though a glass is completely utilitarian, I delight in the fact that there are so many varieties depending on what you are drinking.

With all this said, you may find it hard to believe that last summer I purchased the most perfect PLASTIC cups eevvvaa.

Sounds funny, doesn’t it?  How could a plastic cup be perfect?  What could be so great about it?  Stay with me my dears.  Allow me to explain.

June, 2011 – I was out and about doing errands on a Saturday.  On a whim, I decided to duck into the Christmas Tree Shop for a minute because they sometimes have attractive, sturdy entertaining dishes, which I am a complete sucker for.  After crossing the threshold of the automatic sliding doors, I turned to the right to browse the offerings on the seasonal shelves.  To my dismay the themes consisted of beachy scenes or flowery prints.  Neither do anything for me.

I continued around the aisles looking for nothing in particular; simply browsing, waiting for something to grab my fancy.  I meandered past the teas and the smattering of table lamps, unimpressed with the mass-produced wares.

But here’s where things get good:

I turned the corner and Jason Mraz’s I’m Yours started playing over the speaker system – I shit you not.  Among the gift wrap and greeting cards, there they were in all their green glory (*cue angels singing).  I immediately did a cartwheels on the linoleum floor (ok, so I didn’t actually physically perform the cartwheels, but I totally did them mentally).

Now, I could recount them here for you.  Precisely explain every diminutive detail.  But, even with as loquacious as I can be, words will never do them justice.  For in this case it is true – a picture speaks a thousand words.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you my greatest party find of all time…


Boobie Glasses.  That's right, bitches. 
6 purchased.  One per swing.

If you don’t get the ‘swing’ reference, go back and read my previous posts ‘Sco, Me GustaDearly Beloved, We Are Gathered Here Today…, Inspiration Point and I Love This Bar (Even More Than Toby Keith Loves His).


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